The Baker
The Baker, also known as Alexander Jenkins and The MufinMan, is one of the main (and founding) members of The B-Team. He is one of only two completely consistent characters that have participated in every chapter of Epic Quest Saga, being precisely who he is from his first appearance in the Battle Royale. Biography Courtship of Samus Aran (Battle Royale I and II) He, like several other main characters, participated in the Battle Royale as a combatant, but what is far more important is that it was there that he first met his future wife, Samus Aran. Their first encounter is rather unique: Samus had just saved the Baker from Sean Connery, and she then had her first romantic thoughts of him (they being a flawless match, of course). However, at the time, she felt that she could not afford an emotional relationship, so she killed him; supposedly, this was the only way to illuminate the temptation (BR:2:16) (Absurdity, but it was written by someone other than ChozoMufin.) The Baker feigned this death, and later hijacked her ship. He subsequently crashed the ship on a space iceberg, and they were both sucked into the void. He managed to keep Samus alive only through frantically feeding her OxyMufins (BR:2:20) (He was apparently able to survive through some of the vapors. Implausible, but so is everything else in this crudpuddle called a story.) He starts to slip into death, when suddenly, a flying popcorn kernel thrown by the Moviegoer awakens him. He then splits the last OxyMufin between himself and Samus, and they jump out of the Movie together. During the ensuing Lost Five Chapters, Samus ran away from The Baker, for she could not bear to be saved by another. Monstrous St. G-ClayzillaPimp.J McGee-Claus Jr., the Hunted was forced to deliver presents to the "naughty" children of the world; hatefully, one of these was Samus (BR2:8:11). His present to her was, remarkably, Alexander Jenkins himself (BR2:8:12). However, because of the intense feelings that he dredged up in her, she became angry; angry enough to try to kill Monstrous St. G-ClayzillaPimp.J McGee-Claus Jr., the Hunted Giver. Alexander was so depressed at this (for she was his only love), that he went to kill the creature himself. This was such an impressive feat (for G-Zilla was mighty) that, in addition to his salvation of her five chapters prior, she knew that this was one of the few men that could fit into her life. She then acknowledged her feelings for him, and they were married shortly thereafter. (BR2:8:14) Between the Battle Royale and Epic Quest After Raynor's transference from the Movie to the real world, he, The Baker, and Samus initiated a battle; it was skipped over (BR:3:2). After the battle, they united, forming the first resemblance of the B-Team. It is known that Raynor spent the years in-between Battle Royale and Epic Quest under the ruins of New York; Samus and the Baker, meanwhile, are found in a secluded area by themselves, seemingly well established. It is thus assumed that the group split up after the CG'd events of Raynor's transference. Epic Quest Neither the Baker nor Samus participated in the sparring contest at the beginning of Epic Quest. They had an easy life at that point (although it is assumed they operated as vigilantes or something during the in-between years) (EQ:1:13). He awoke one day to find that someone had absconded with the entirety of his Mufin collection, and that someone had stolen his Ban-Hammer. In order to find these items, the two were drawn into the general conflict. They arrive on the sparring grounds in his Delivery Van-Ship, only to find The Chef's betrayal. (They had not previously met this Chef, mind you.) After some conflict, they determined that Jacen had stolen his Mufins and The Chef, far more sinister, had stolen his Hammer. He then vowed vengeance on the Chef. It was later found that the Chef had carelessly baked the Hammer's hilt into one of his turkey-meteors, for when it crashed into their van, the hilt was found among the muck. (EQ:2:16) During the conflict, a shard of the Hammer that had touched the Chef fell off, being replaced through replication. That shard was used by Raynor for various reasons, and returned to the Baker after Raynor's "disorientation" incident (EQ:3:4). After being captured by Broccoli Men, the Baker found that the shard had become fused to his palm. It was found to have a strong attraction to the hilt, which returned to him through numerous bulkheads. He and Jacen then took over the vessel and crashed back into earth. After more conflict with The Chef's forces, the Team was snatched up by a Wayward Gnome. They were dropped off near a town, in which they bought the false Yem-Shui Mk. IV (EQ:4:5). The Eggman tried to sneak onto their ship, but he was beaten back by The Baker. The Team heard Jacen's summons to the Dragon's cave, and during the battle, the Yem-Shui was destroyed. After the battle, The Baker and Samus went to purchase and assemble the Turbo Bus. They and the B-Team then tracked down the Chef/Eggman alliance, and engaged them in battle. Armaments / Abilities ChozoMufins The Baker is of the order of ChozoBakers of old, and is trained in the Chozo culinary arts. He can bake any of the original recipe ChozoMufins, and has several recipies of his own. These are the Mufins mentioned in the Epic Quest Saga: *'Standard ChozoMufin:' These Mufins are explosive, and detonate on contact. The effect is similar to a high-powered grenade. An auxiliary effect is that they re-vitalize most zombie flesh before detonating; this makes them excellent anti-zombie weapons (BR:1:15) *'LifeMufin:' This Mufin is said to give the consumer 2000 years of life past his natural time of death. Eating them periodically would theoretically result in eternal life (thought not immortality, mind you); however, none outside the Chozo have had access to them, and the Chozo themselves refuse to use them. Bakery Equipment *'SpeedyBake™:' The Baker always wears SpeedyBake™ Collapsible Wrist Oven on his left wrist. When not in use, it collapses to be the same size and style as his Gauntlet; (the two were designed as a pair, but he did not discover the Gauntlet until recently). *'MufinTin:' Called the "greatest weapon known to mankind," the MufinTin is essentially a portable ChozOven. It is capable of baking LifeMufins and Original Flavor Blueberry ChozoMufins with a Light Glazing and Just a Hint of Lemon; those two substances alone make it worthy of its calling. (BR:2:13)